I'm A Celebrity... (Really?)

So we’re one week into the sixth series of I’m A Celebrity, the reality show which, depending on its casting, can be absolutely brilliant (Jordan, Peter Andre, Johnny Rotten) or absolutely dismal (Linda Barker, Phil Tufnell, Antony Worrall Thompson).

This year’s lot are the same mix of faded has beens, obscure nobodies and tabloid freakshows, but so far it’s been surprisingly entertaining, largely down to Thursday’s show, which was one of the most astonishing pieces of television all year.

The whole camp could be obilterated by witchity grubs and this series would still be remembered for Dean Gaffney’s near mental-breakdown in his Bushtucker Trial Challenge. Half hilarious, half quite disturbing, the former Wellard sidekick didn’t really seem to have a clue what he was doing or where he was and his relentless shrieking has surely surpassed Paul Burrell’s gurning in the over-dramatic stakes.

But he’s not the only character worth watching. I’ll forever be scarred by the image of David Gest kissing Liza Minelli at their wedding, but despite this, I’m actually quite liking him. Yes, he’s a blatant name-dropper, bullshitter and prone to the odd diva tantrums, but he’s also very witty, is prepared to get stuck in and is responsible for the “I can’t even get a bloody chocolate cookie” rap.

Lauren Booth has also been unintentionally funny, putting her foot in it on several occasions, whether it’s crawling to Gest over comments she made about his plastic surgery, saying she didn’t know who Phina was when she was stood right next to her and then of course, there were those preposterous reggae and hip-hop dancing moves. Seeing Cherie Blair’s half-sister attempt to be the female Beenie Man is definitely one of the most bizarre things you’ll ever see on a reality show.

Elsewhere, Toby Anstis would eat himself if he could but he’s still quite likeable, as is Myleene Klass and Jason Donovan, the obvious winner , even if he doesn’t really do that much. Neither does Matt Willis, who seems the most normal one in there but it’s a very odd career decision to go into the jungle when your album’s being released at the same time. Being a contestant doesn’t seem to have worked wonders for Anthony Costa or Jenny Frost’s career has it?

Jan Leeming looks great for her age but is possibly even more whinier than Natalie Appleton was, which is quite some feat. I have no sympathy for any contestants who don’t seem to know what they’ve let themselves in for. This is the sixth series for Christ’s sake.

Phina is intriguing, well her accent is anyway, veering from American to Scouse in the space of a sentence. Scott almost outdoes Fran Cosgrave, Natasha from Atomic Kitten’s ex boyfriend, in the complete nobody stakes. Does designing Samantha Mumba’s dresses really constitute being a celebrity these days? Anyway, he’s as vile, bitchy and as shit-stirring as you would expect and will surely be the first one out. And Faith Brown and Malandra Burrows have left absolutely no impression whatsoever.

Anyway, last night we found out there is to be one of those dreaded twists that seem to curse reality shows (see this year’s BB.) and the group of 12 are going to be split up into boys and girls. In saying that, a change might do the show good. There’s only so many times you can see maggots crawling over minor celebrities before the appeal starts to wear off.