Kermit Has Left The Building

Some thoughts on this week's pitiful X-Factor.

- Thank God the British public saw sense and finally voted Ashley in the bottom two. The only reason he seemed to be there in the first place was because Simon Cowell thought he was "different." But being different doesn't automatically mean you're any good. All this crap about him having more star quality, more potential etc - take away the afro and what are you left with - vocals reminiscent of Kermit the Frog yawning. His version of "The Winner Takes It All" was almost as bad as Rosie Ribbons' massacre in the first Pop Idol and his arrogance seemed to hold no bounds. "Louis only voted me out because he wants to get rid of the strongest." Yeah, that's why you've been in the bottom three for the last two weeks. Such a threat.

- I'm actually quite worried that Louis Walsh seemed to make a hell of a lot more sense than Simon Cowell. Ray IS a one-trick-pony and singing Waterloo in a swing style isn't a risk. Tailoring every single genre to swing music is completely the opposite of a risk. It's safe, predictable and boring. And he was dead right to send Ashley home. Robert is a better singer, performer and person full stop. Cowell's fake indignation was pathetic.

Eton Road are now my new favourites. After not thinking much of them until the live shows, they are now the most entertaining act in the competition. The UK needs a boyband like this at the moment - a band who aren't prepared to sit on stools until the key change, a band who aren't prepared to do lifeless covers of bland ballads, a band who knows pop music should be fun. They certainly look odd as a group, indeed Anthony always appears to be on a different planet to the other three, but I really do think they have a good chance of winning.

- Unlike Leona, who is actually my real favourite but I'm resigned to the fact that she will never win because she's a) female, b) black c) and doesn't have a sob story. I seem to be in the minority here but I thought her version of Chiquitita was by far the best of the night.

- She'll still probably be out before the Macdonald Brothers so bashing them is obviously a complete waste of time. The thing is, I don't think they're particularly horrendous. They're just so unbelievably dull and no amount of pointless guitar solos will change that. I can see Nikita, Robert and maybe even Ray ending up in the bottom two before they do. Anyone who votes for them purely because they're Scottish, which I'm assuming must be everyone who does, is a complete pillock.

- It was hilarious to see Bjorn from Abba struggling to hide his contempt when being interviewed. Apart from Leona and Eton Road, they really are the worst group of talent contest finalists we've ever had.