Bend It Like Timmy Mallett?

I'm not exactly a huge fan of shows where celebrities attempt to master a particular skill. Showjumping, ice-skating and ballroom dancing don't interest me in the slightest usually, and just because a few random D-listers are involved, that doesn't mean that's going to change.

There are two exceptions though. Channel 4's "The Games" and Sky One's "The Match" which returned for a third series last night. The Match excels where others fail in that the contestants aren't in it for the money, or to boost their profile. They're in it for the thrill of scoring a goal, making a last ditch-tackle or saving a penalty in front of 52,000 fans at St. James Park, the closest any of them will get to achieve their childhood ambition of playing in an F.A. Cup Final. And it's the determination to make this happen is what makes the show so appealing. And the look on their faces when they're told they're not going to.

Last night saw 70 wannabe footballers, with varying degrees of fame (how did the awful Mikey from Big Brother get this gig?), attempt to impress the very likeable Graham Taylor enough to warrant their selection to the next round. And even if you aren't a football fan, there was still a lot of fun to be had watching how so many former celebs have let themselves go, (Mark Bosnich in particular looks like he's started to eat the footballs, rather than play with them), how many fragile egos throw their dummies out when they're not picked, (Fame Academy's David Grant throwing the biggest tantrum last night), and witnessing bizarre sights such as Timmy Mallett, fully equipped with a Japanese bandana, nearly keeling over doing the Bleep Test. Not surprisingly, he didn't make it.